


Stepping Stones

by somelikeitpink



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dan is an idiot, Future Plans, M/M, Wedding Talk, Who thinks too much about his future, dan gets upset with the world, engagement talk, just general future talking, phil is a good adult, they'll figure their way out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 18:34:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5386118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somelikeitpink/pseuds/somelikeitpink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is slowly wondering why Phil just won't drop the question. Everybody else seems to around them... Why don't they? It's an adult thing to do isn't it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stepping Stones

**Author's Note:**

> I literally don't know what this is.  
> I somehow got this idea in my head tonight and I couldn't stop writing, and suddenly it was 2000 words long. Well. oops?

“Oh, for fucks sake.” Dan cursed, slamming his Mac lid closed. Why could he not just tweet one thing without throwing in another typo. Annoyed, he pushed the laptop away, sinking further into his sofa crease.  
Of course, it wasn't the tweet that had got him so worked up. It was the… general situation. And if that wasn't just the most cliche'd thing Dan had thought in a while?  
For once he was glad that Phil had apparently decided that today was one of those days were he attempted to have a normal social life, meeting up with some people they worked with at the BBC for a coffee. That way at least he didn’t have to deal with his disapproving look for how he treated his computer.  
His phone chimed, a text message from his hair dresser to confirm tomorrows appointment. Because of course he had to look sharp next week, considering they were going to… _the wedding._

Dan could lie and pretend that he didn’t know why it bothered him so much, but in the end that would be pointless. Another year. Another pair of their friends walking down the aisle towards the (supposedly) never-ending future together. 

Annoyed, he grunted and pushed himself off the couch. Maybe hot chocolate would help cheer his mood slightly. But as he arrived in the kitchen he saw that Phil, of course, had used up all their milk again and how was it always falling to him to buy more? How could the older one in the apartment not actually be the adult for once and … Dan sighed, interrupting his own stream of thought to make himself a glass of Ribena. 

It was unfair to blame his bad mood on anybody but himself but Dan couldn’t help it. If Phil could just be… a grown up for once and do what other people did at his age. Settle down. Give him a ring. _Get married_. He wouldn’t be in such a bad mood. Actually, it was all Phil’s fault really, wasn’t it? Why couldn’t he just.. propose?

A few years back, the very thought of marriage, of making...whatever they had into an official thing would have scared the living hell out of Dan. But now, with shared leases and work contracts and rent agreements, suddenly another piece of paper with both of their signatures on it seemed less...frightening. Less intimidating. And that was how you proceeded in life wasn’t it? You got together, you waited a few years and then somebody proposed and you got married. Then one day you got a house and had 2.5 children and got a dog.. but that was thinking a bit far ahead wasn’t it?

He slumped back into the sofa, almost spilling the Ribena on himself in the process. Why didn’t Phil just… do it? Maybe he just didn’t see his future with Dan like that.. Maybe… he stopped his own thoughts there again. In the back of his head he could hear Phil's voice calling him an idiot for questioning his affections. “Well, not my fault if you can’t make up your mind. How’s a man supposed to know where he’s at?” Dan scoffed back, curling his free arm around himself. 

“How’s who supposed to know what he’s at?” Slowly, Dan closed his eyes, mentally counting down from ten before he bothered responding. Of course Phil had to choose that moment to come back, glancing around the door in his ridiculously cute space coat, and how was it fair for him to look this adorable while Dan tried to question his motives?

“Me. The Universe.” He finally replied, taking a sip from his Ribena. He could play it cool if he wanted to. Sarcasm was always a good weapon.  
“Well I’m pretty certain humanity has tried to figure that one out since the beginning of time so if you find an answer, I’m sure Aristotle or somebody would be interested in it.” And with that, the man in the space coat was gone again, making Dan question whether he had been really there or a figment of his imagination, until he returned a whole minute later, falling down into the sofa crease beside him. 

“How was coffee?” 

Phil sighed in answer, lazily blinking up at Dan. “Nice. Nathalie says hello.” Nathalie. As if Dan could ever remember who was who now. Was she the intern with the pink hair? Or the woman from the music department? “Sound effects. She did the sound effects when we made the special?” Phil helpfully added, seemingly not even bothered by Dan’s forgetfulness anymore. 

“Ah yes…” 

“You have no idea who I mean, do you?” He chuckled, tucking his head into the crook of Dan's neck. His breath tickled the spot where a bruise was still fading from a passionate make out session days before. See, Phil didn't seem to have an issue with marking Dan as his own… why not do that with a ring? It would be an easy, obvious solution, and one that was clear enough that no-one would be in any doubt.

“Earth to Dan Howell.” Owlishly, Dan looked down at Phil, only slightly feeling guilty for getting caught up in his thoughts again. 

“What's on your mind today? You’ve been thinking so loudly for the last few days that I had trouble sleeping last night.” Phil asked, pulling back from the embrace he had been caught in before. Immediately, Dan felt colder. “Nothing.. I'm just…thinking.” 

“Thinking is never nothing with you.” Phil replied with the ease of somebody who had known him for the last few years. “It is never just nothing, it’s always the whole world. So what did the universe do this time?” Biting his lip, Dan regarded his options. From anybody else that question would have been rude, but he knew how it was meant. He could, of course brush it off, and Phil would possibly let it go for the day and then try it again tomorrow. 

“Where do you see our future heading?” Or of course, he could just blurt it out like the idiot he sometimes was. He really wished he knew how to stay quiet at times like this.

“What do you mean?” Phil knew better than to just answer the question. The future was a broad topic. And once started, Dan wouldn’t accept a wrong answer. 

“I mean…” He sighed, visibly pulling himself up before he continued. This wasn’t a discussion one had while one was slouching. “I mean where are we going? Not with our channels but… us.”  
Something in his tone must have alerted Phil, as he suddenly sat up as well, answering the question with the same seriousness now that Dan had showed. “Well. We seem to have agreed on sharing more with the public. And then I suppose we should start thinking about what we'll do once the lease is up here. Maybe we could have a look for a house, I mean.. we'll see if we're ready for that when the time comes.”

A house. Of course Dan had known that to some extent, but.“This is all wrong though.” He blurted out, once again internally cursing himself. What happened to his inner filter? Phil seemed as taken aback as Dan felt inside, but of course, being Phil, he managed a slightly calmer response. “What do you mean? We can stay here, of course, if you aren’t ready for that yet.”

“No no no no…” Dan shook his head quickly, grabbing a few strands of hair between his fingers “You're supposed to ask me first and then eventually we’d think about it a few years after. I mean, Alexandra and Rob are still living in their crappy old apartment too and they won’t move until later and..” 

“What do Alex and Rob have to do with any of this?” At the mention of the couple, Phil interrupted him, wrinkling his forehead. 

“Everything.” Dan was ready to sulk, no matter just how childish a reaction it was, but Phil just didn’t get it did he? “I mean I know that Felix and Marzia aren’t thinking about doing it anytime soon and they do have a house but technically it’s Felix's house and…” It was then that the penny seemed to drop for Phil. 

“Dan is this… are you upset because I haven’t proposed yet?” Why Phil was looking at him with a little smile was inexplicable. “Is this because we're going to Alex and Rob's wedding next week? Is this what you mean by doing it properly?”

Pouting slightly, Dan pulled down the sleeves of his sweater, wrapping himself up in it as far as he could. “That's just the way it is supposed to be though. We aren’t _supposed_ to think about the house first without knowing yet what the future will bring.”

“Dan, when have we ever done anything the way it's supposed to be done?” Phil chuckled, turning to take one of Dan’s hands into his. “And do you think the future will bring you away from me?” 

“No of course not, but that’s not the point..” Dan argued back. 

“Well but it sort of is isn’t it?” Phil replied softly.  “We’ve never done anything the right way. We basically got together before we even met the first time. Hardly anybody knows about us, except for the people who really need to know, and even that after six years. If I’m saying I'd like us to look for a house, it’s because I know that I'll spend my future with you.”

Slowly, Dan looked up from his lap, the stubborn tilt to his mouth still in place. “But then why.. We're supposed to be adults… Why aren’t we… Getting married is an adult thing to do isn’t it?”  
He wasn’t exactly sure why he made it sound like a question. There was something about situations like these that made him feel so young. When he was eighteen he had felt like he was a million years old and coult take on the world. Now at twenty-four, Phil still managed to make him feel like he was eighteen and clueless all over again.

“Getting married isn’t the be-all end-all to adulthood Dan.” His boyfriend said hesitantly, his fingers slowly easing Dan’s grip on his jumper. 

“It’s… a stepping stone. Some people never decide to do it, and they are perfectly happy.” Noting the look on Dan’s face, Phil quickly shook his head. “Not that I think so. One day… One day I want to marry you. There will be a question and then there’ll be a ring and we'll sign some papers that allow us to have a ridiculous party with all our friends and family to celebrate us. But..”  
he sighed, but the smile was back on his face. “But I want to do this when the time is right. Not because we think we have to, out of some weird social convention that nobody cares about nowadays anyway. We will do it because it will be right and because we love each other and because it seems like the next natural step.” Gently, Phil squeezed his hand, looking away as he seemed try and find the words to continue.

“I don’t want to have to hurry this and squeeze it in between tour dates and responsibilities, or have to worry about somebody finding out because we aren’t out yet.” He glanced back at Dan, and for a moment the pure adoration that he saw there took his breath away. “One day I’ll be amazingly proud to call myself your husband. And whatever will follow after that. But first, I want to make sure we're ready. And that when that day will come I won't have to worry about if I’m allowed to scream that from the rooftops or not.”

And somehow… that was a logic Dan couldn’t argue with. 

 


End file.
